Theme Post: Who is Your Peace Corps Hero?

(Warning: You will only understand this post if you are familiar with the Dr. Sir Rev. Stephen T. Colbert's television show "The Colbert Report.")

Stephen Colbert is my Peace Corps hero. Like Stephen, I always knew that, together, I was going to change the world. Streaming full episodes of his show onto my computer into my Paraguayan home each night has kept me in touch with my traditional values, and offers a daily reminder that an internet connection is much more important than running water.

Stephen’s show is different. It’s not just some collection of reasoned arguments supported by facts. That would be the coward’s way out. No, he tells the truth. His truth. He says what he thinks. He thinks it, he says it. Sometimes he doesn’t even think it, he just says it. But whatever he says, it always reeks of Truthiness. Stephen taught me that true Truths are self-evident and require no more research than a good look in the mirror, which in Paraguay means walking around my community as the people dutifully inform me of every good or bad change in my appearance. 

Whenever I start to doubt that Paraguay is the right place for me, I just go back to Stephen’s core values and realize that I am in one of the best possible places. So many Paraguayan values are right in line with Stephen’s teachings. For example, both are fervent supporters of Jesus, Catholicism, babies, meat-eating, beer, and rugged masculinity. 

In fact, I would suggest that if our ultra-conservative politicians (American heroes) get kicked out of America by that fascist, socialist, Muslim, Christian, traitor, president Barack Obama, they should consider coming to Paraguay in their exile. There’s no EPA here to bust ‘em on their new Hummers, or FDA to infringe on their liberty to clog their arteries with those delicious trans fats… in fact they probably won’t be bothered by any government regulation. Efforts to redistribute wealth (government robbery of the hard-working) are almost nonexistent. Gays stay in the closet, its normal to gawk at black people, and the women already know that their natural strengths are in the kitchen. It’s almost like a conservative Utopia! Come on home, boys.

Stephen taught me to read his book, watch his show, and be him. Even if I’m 5,000 miles away, I can still say the pledge of allegiance every night before I go to sleep, and continue to fear bears from afar. Stephen Colbert is my hero: he is America, and so can YOU!